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Coaching

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Introduction to coaching

On this page, we are going to review the GitLab coaching framework and approach for people leaders and direct reports to apply during coaching conversations with their team. Use this page as a guide to starting and executing a coaching conversation.

Coaching at GitLab

Coaching conversations are fluid, dynamic acts of co-creation where the coach and the coachee are equal partners. The GitLab coaching framework has both a coach and coachee side, and each side is a reflection of the other. Coaching is an important component of our 360 review process and for guidance on feedback. Coaching can occur during one-on-one meetings or at any time. It is an important component of career development, leading teams, building an inclusive culture, mentoring, and much more.

Selecting a coach

There are various ways to find a coach at GitLab:

How coaches coach

Coaches help team members by focusing their attention on the future while recognizing their unique strengths and areas for development. A coach is there to help the coachee tap into their potential and to reflect and learn by identifying desired outcomes to achieve future goals.

Key attributes of a coach include some of the following:

Different hats for different conversations

When we think about coaching as a mode of conversation, you may also be thinking about all the other modes of conversation you might use as a leader in multiple types of roles. You may be a team lead running an engineering program. You may be managing one of our TMRG's. You may be a mentor or a buddy. You are also most likely a direct report of someone else. Whatever it is, you can flex your leadership style and adopt different approaches to engage in meaningful conversations. You can think of this as wearing "different hats."

You may wear multiple hats in any given day:

GROW Model

The GROW Model is a four-step method for holding coaching conversations with a coachee. You can apply it during coaching sessions to guide the coachee through future-focused discussions.

G - Goals: Identify the inspirational goal to drive success and keep energy and motivation high.

R - Reality: Discuss the current situation and what barriers currently exist to achieve future goals

O - Options: Explore the options for moving forward

W - Way Forward: Agree on specific actions and timeframe to set accountability for the coachee

Essential coaching skills

Effective coaches use a defined set of skills to enable coaching coversations. Those skills include:

Questioning Asking powerful, open-ended questions is a core skill. Coaching is about coming from a place of asking, not telling, while empowering team members to create their solutions. Coaching works to "pull out" insight from an individual.

How to structure questions

  • Ask open ended questions. Good questions start with "what" or "how." As you move to questions around action, "who" and "when" can also be helpful.
  • One question at a time. Focus attention on one question that focuses on one element of the conversation.
  • Keep the questions brief.
  • Stay with the coachee's agenda. Pick a question that reflects where they are, not where you think they should be.
  • Ask for permission. If you want to challenge the person, or give them a suggestion or insight they may not otherwise have, ask them for permission.

Questioning - What to avoid

  • Try to avoid closed questions - they can sometimes close down thinking. For example, avoid questions that use the following: "Does that...do you...have you...is there?"
  • Try to avoid why questions - these can cause the person to feel defensive and may close down their learning from the coach.
  • Try to avoid leading questions, statements, or opinions in the form of questions - as these points the coachee to a place you think they should go, when they will be more committed to action if they come to their own conclusions.
  • Try to avoid stale questions - avoid asking questions that you thought of at the start of the session, but which may not be relevant anymore (If you find yourself waiting for the right time to ask a question, chances are you may not be listening anymore).

Listening Listening is a critical skill because it enables openness and curiosity. It also signals to the coachee that you are being fully present. To ask great questions, you need to be fully listening.

Listening like a coach

  • Be present physically, mentally, emotionally (close down screens and give your coachee your undivided attention).
  • Focus on the other coachee.
  • Listen with curiosity and without judgment.
  • Allow time for silence when the coachee is processing your question.
  • Pay attention to body language through video chat: Make eye contact in the camera, smile, make gestures such as nodding your head to show you are present and lean into the discussion.

What to listen for

  • The tone of voice
  • The pace of speech and shifts in energy
  • Virtual body language
  • Choice of words
  • Overarching themes or what the coachee continues to come back too
  • Underlying beliefs and assumptions
  • Blind spots
  • Personal values and what matters most to them
  • The pauses and the silence

What else to do when you are listening

  • Provide focus and try to clarify for the coachee.
  • Without judgement, offer an obseration, hold up the mirror to show what you are hearing and to deepen insight for the other person.
  • Without judgement, confront or challenge what might be a limiting belief to open up new opportunities for the coachee.

Encouragement Encourage and show enthusiasm by identifying strengths in the coachee to build trust. Be open and ground yourself in individual team member strengths. Reflect on what you noticed and determine the impact on the coachee to see that the feedback has landed.

When to Encourage

  • At the beginning of a coaching conversation, acknowledge progress made or an accomplishment achieved.
  • During a conversation, acknowledge when the coachee makes a connection or gains new insight.
  • During brainstorming, acknowledge when somone has sretched beyond their comfort zone.
  • During planning for action, acknowledge someone's commitment to change.

Strategies to practice encouraging

  • Acknowledging: Focuses on the coachee - who they are as a person and what they have done in their life, their inner character. Make the coachee feel unique and that you recognize what sets them apart.
  • Appreciating: Focuses on the positive impact and contribution of the deed to others.
  • Praising: Focuses on the deed, what people do - results, transparency, efficiency, inclusion, and performance.

Challenge Challenging your coachee helps them raise the bar, stretch, and grow. Challenge the coachee to get out of their comfort zone, raise the bar, and play a bigger role. Your role as a coach is to hold a bigger picture of what's possible. A great challenge jolts someone into examining the limits of their comfort zone and move beyond them.

When to challenge

  • When your coachee has been sitting in their comfort zone or they've been playing it safe for too long.
  • A coachee who has been moving fast and thrives on challenges.
  • To increase the coachee's self-confidence and to increase their perception of what is possible.

Be Present Be in the moment, focus on the other person, free of judgment. Give your coachee your undivided attention. Closeout other programs during a virtual coaching session. Be open and curious by identifying what's working and what's not. Be truly present physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Strategies on how to be present

  • Make gestures such as nodding your head to show you are present.
  • Empty your own mind of all preoccupations that are diverting your own focus, attention, and energy.
  • Ground yourself in an open, curious, and appreciative mindset.
  • Look for something to appreciate about your coachee, your self, and the coaching process.
  • Ground yourself in your intentions for the coaching conversation.

Attributes of a coachee

As a coach uses their core coaching skills, a coachee can access their own set of skills and activities to get the most out of the coaching conversation through the following:

Trust and Coaching

Building trust is an important ingredient in coaching and team dynamics. Trust lies at the heart of a functioning and cohesive team. There are five dysfunctions of a team according to Patrick Lencioni that can break down trust throughout the team:

  1. Absence of Trust: Team members are reluctant to be vulnerable with one another and are unwilling to admit their mistakes, weaknesses, or need for help.
  2. Fear of Conflict: Lack of trust prevents the flow of unfiltered, passionate debate about tasks, activities, and projects. These conversations are crucial to ensure all voices are heard and all options are considered.
  3. Lack of Commitment: Without some conflict it is difficult for team members to commit to decisions, fostering an environment where ambiguity prevails. A team with strong commitment is more likely to put in more effort.
  4. Avoidance of Accountability: When teams do not commit to a clear plan of action, even the most focused and driven individuals are hesitant to call their peers on actions and behaviors that may seem counterproductive.
  5. Inattention to Results: When no one is accountable, team members may naturally tend to put their own needs ahead of the collective goals; for example, career development and recognition.

The Trust Equation

The Trust Equation™ is a concept to help increase trustworthiness with your team. The more trust you have with team members, the easier it will be to have coaching conversations.

The trust equation uses four objective variables to measure trustworthiness:

  1. Credibility: My word is believable. Put simply, credibility rates "what you say and how believable you are to others." In other words, you must be credible if you are asking others to follow your lead.
  2. Reliability: I do what I say I will do. Reliability measures "actions, and how dependable you appear." Can you be counted on? People need to know that their leaders will come through for them.
  3. Intimacy: I empathize with others. Intimacy considers 'how safe people are sharing information with you." When you are presented with confidential information, you need to keep it so.
  4. Self-Orientation: My focus is on my team, not personal gain. Self-orientation is a personal focus on yourself or others. Too much self-focus will lower your degree of trustworthiness.

The trust equation has one variable in the denominator (self-orientation) and three in the numerator (credibility, reliability, intimacy). Increasing the value of the factors in the numerator increases the value of trust. Increasing the denominator (self-orientation) decreases the value of trust.

Neuroscience of Trust

Studies have shown that building trust has an impact on the brain. The neuroscience shows that recognition has the largest effect on trust when it occurs after a goal has been met. The neuroscience of trust can help team members and managers in the following ways:

Eight management behaviors that foster trust:

  1. Recognize excellence
  2. Induce "challenge stress"
  3. Give people discretion in how they work
  4. Enable job crafting
  5. Share information broadly
  6. Intentionally build relationships
  7. Facilitate whole-person growth
  8. Show vulnerability

The Return on Trust

Compared with people at low-trust companies, people at high trust companies report the following according to a study from Accenture:

Planning for action

The planning for the action phase is about enabling the coachee to make a plan with action steps that support their goals.

How to plan for action:

When you are planning for action while wearing your coaching hat, you are not evaluating or judging or driving your agenda. The coachee should ultimately decide the action steps, committing to their path forward. As a coach, you are curious and non-judgemental while living up to GitLab values.

Sample planning for action questions:

Ending the coaching conversation

When a coaching session is completed, it is essential to review the goal of the conversation with the outcome by asking:

The coach might also want to end the conversation with a few statements about what this session has reminded them of and what they truly appreciate in the coachee. Coaching is about empowering. They are helping team members to increase and balance their self-confidence and self-worth:

Additional coaching skills

Coaching Manager Competency

In an all-remote organization, coaching is a critical skill for managers to develop and improve upon as they progress in their careers. Coaching helps to facilitate the career development of team members through regular coaching conversations. Coaching helps team members change behavior, improve performance, and sustain commitment through encouragement, support, collaborative problem-solving, goal setting, and feedback.

Skills and behavior of the coaching competency for managers:

Live Learning Session

During Week 2 of our Manager Challenge Pilot, we had a course covering Building Trust and Coaching. The slide deck and meeting agenda follow along with the session.

A recording of the first of two sessions can be found here:

Introduction to Coaching

We held 50 minute Introduction to Coaching Live Learning sessions on 2020-12-03. The recording follows along with the slide deck and agenda.

A recording of the first session can be found here:

The slide deck for the session can be found here:

Additional coaching resources

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